


a text to any other name would read as sweet

by Roni_V (Laya_Gintulan)



Category: Academia (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Multi, SO HAVE THE FAKE DATING FIC YOU GUYS NEVER WANTED BUT ARE GETTING ANYWAY, Slow Burn, Yes you read that right, also petition to call their ship 'sweet and spicy', i see no content about it aND WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE, there is gonna be angst im already warning you, this ship is great and severely underrated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-20 05:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laya_Gintulan/pseuds/Roni_V
Summary: To: 91% COFFEE[2:49] i have a planFrom: 91% COFFEE[2:50] No.To: 91% COFFEE[2:50] wow[2:50] may nasabi na ba ako---Salle sends a text to the wrong person, and it spirals from there.





	1. i have a plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salle is a huge dork who loves games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hELLO TO WHOEVER IS BRAVE ENOUGH TO READ THIS!!!!  
> so my weak heart finally decided to cave in and write something to my fave rarepair because there's so little content about them (read: i have never actually seen a fic about them, somEONE HELP). and what better way to start the movement than with a fake dating au, right?  
> im starting it off slow w a bunch of texts (who knew how hard they were to do fdkdasf) but i swear ill come back with the actual date stuff in the next part!! for now, have this brief introduction as to how the whole thing starts owo)/

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:39 AM] dude

[2:39] man

[2:39] bro

[2:40] mappy

[2:41] MAPPY

[2:41] M A P P Y

[2:41] GUESS WHAT

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:44] ITS 2AM SALLE WHAT THE FUCK

[2:45] WHAT

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:46] oh shit, i didnt think you would actually reply

[2:46] PERO MAPPY

[2:47] _\-- image sent --_

[2:47] ITS HERE

[2:47] ITS FINALLY HERE HOLY SHIT

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:47] Oh right, it opened last night.

[2:49] Wait, why did you send me the flyer?

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:49] i have a plan

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:50] No.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:50] wow

[2:50] may nasabi na ba ako

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:51] No, Salle, I am not pretending to be your boyfriend so you can get a discount to Club Xega.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:51] who says you’re pretending ;))

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:52] Nice try.

[2:52] It’s still a no.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:52] d a m n

[2:53] PERO MAPPY

[2:53] MAPPY THEY HAVE SO MANY GAMES

[2:54] PLEASE GO WITH ME

[2:55] ILL NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING AGAIN

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:57] You said that last week.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:57] AND ILL NEVER SAY IT AGAIN

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:58] I have my doubts.

[2:58] Also papers.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:59] MAPPY NO, DONT LEAVE ME

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[3:01] Acads, Salle. Now go to sleep.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[3:01] u should listen to yourself sometimes

[3:02] AT DI PA TAYO TAPOS DITO

 

[9:37 AM] mappyyyyyyy

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[1:17 PM] Salle.

[1:17] If you really want to go, why not ask Neo?

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[2:58] uy not a bad idea

[2:58] pero i asked you first

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[2:59] And I can’t go.

[3:03] At least, not this weekend. Sorry.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[3:05] lagi nalang ah

[3:05] jk, i got it. ill go ask neo then.

[3:06] PERO PUPUNTA DIN TAYO HA

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[3:08] Oo na.

[3:12] Salle?

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[3:12] ??

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[3:13] Thanks.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[3:13] np dude

[3:13] also matulog ka na

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[3:15] No.

 

* * *

 

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[4:26 PM] cLUB XEGA!!!!!!!!!

[4:26] DATE THIS WEEKEND U SHIT, G????????

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[4:27] uh, salle?

[4:27] i think you texted the wrong number.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[4:27] oh

[4:28] sorry phil

[4:28] but u wanna??

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[4:28] i mean, sure?

[4:28] but weren’t you asking someone out?

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[4:29] oh that was neo

[5:01] BUT PLS I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO XOME QITH

[5:01] *come with

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[5:01] OH

[5:02] do you want me to ask him instead?

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[5:04] nah, u can come!!

[5:04] so???????

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[5:04] are you sure, i mean, neo might be free.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[5:05] iLL BUY YOU TAPA

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[5:05] OKAY THEN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: club xega is actually a parody of an actual arcade in japan, you can read more about it here - https://en.japantravel.com/tokyo/club-sega-gaming-arcade/6080


	2. that one actually went in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on their first "date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, HELLO, IM SORRY FOR BEING LATE-O.  
> not gonna lie, im a little surprised people actually know this fic exist like????? amazing.  
> this chapter took a while because i had to sort through my outline for a bit, so the good news is that i know where im going. bad new is that i absolutely SUCK at execution, so please be patient w me, i promise ill do my best,,,,
> 
> anyway, have my sons being dorks in the arcade for now bcs why not [insert finger guns]

For a Saturday, Bonifacio High Street was blessedly free of the usual crowd it hosted. Of course, there were still a lot of people, but not as much as the vacation months entailed. _Probably due to the school year picking up_ , Salle thinks as he continues browsing for the book Cess wanted.

 

His phone buzzes with a new message just as he moves to another shelf, so he pulls it out and checks the screen.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[11:16] u here yet?

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[11:19] almost!

[11:21] ba’t parang ang aga natin?

 

**To: Chill Pill**

[11:21] MAY PROMO, PHIL

[11:22] also kasi cess asked me to buy a book

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[11:22] naks, the best kuya talaga.

[11:24] also i'm here, where do i go?

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[11:25] damn right i am

[11:25] fully booked btw

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[11:27] owo)b 

 

* * *

 

Phil finds him just as he exits the store, greeting him with a bright smile and a small wave. Salle grins back and jogs up to him. "Hey, Phil."

 

 

"Hey, Salle," Phil mimics with a small laugh. He's decked in his usual fashion, which is to say, comfortable. Running shoes, dark pants, and the usual shirt, though today it's white with sleeves in his trademark maroon. It's ideal for their plans, so Salle starts them off towards the arcade, Phil falling into step beside him as he asks, "So… may promo?"

 

"Part ng opening nila," Salle explains, leading them to the next street. "It started Wednesday and lasts for the whole week. The arcade is a big deal, so medyo - "

 

"Expensive?"

 

"Expensive," Salle confirms, slowing them to a stop in front of a red, two-story building, and Phil lets out a quiet ‘oh my god’ as he gapes at what he can see from the entrance. Salle feels a smirk tug at his lips at the reaction. It’s pretty impressive, the collection the establishment has, which is why he took the chance to drag someone here early.

 

They head straight for the counter, Phil still a little dazed as he takes a look around the place. There’s already a number of people inside, and the two of them find themselves making idle chatter as they wait in line for their turn.

 

“Dapat kasama natin silang lahat next time.”

 

“Nice idea, pero laging magulo schedules natin.”

 

“Pero isipin mo nalang yung reactions nila Ace at - ”

 

They’re passing the event wall when Phil suddenly cuts off in the middle of his sentence to blink at something over Salle’s shoulder.

 

“Salle,” he starts, and Salle hums as he digs for his wallet, “Hula lang, pero nakalimutan mo ata sabihin na it’s a _couple promo_.” There’s a pause, and it takes a few seconds for his sleep-deprived brain to actually absorb what the other just said and -

 

“Oh - ” _shit_ , he wants to say, but the word that takes its place instead is - “Sorry?”

 

Salle frowns, not meaning to make it sound like a question, but Phil waves it off with an easy smile. “May mas malala na 'kong nagawa.”

 

“Really,” the confession makes Salle grin. “Gaya nang?”

 

Phil gives his shoulder a playful nudge, grin matching his as he says, “You don’t kiss and tell, Salle.” It pulls a laugh out of him just as they get their turn with the cashier, and Phil gives him a considering look before offering a hand. Salle gets the idea and readily takes it, flashing Phil an approving grin as he turns to the girl working the register.

 

“Welcome to Club Xega,” she greets, offering them a polite smile. “How may I help you today?”

 

“Hey. I’d like to apply for a membership?”

 

“Of course,” the girl types something in the computer, “Which card would you like, sir?” She turns a display to show three designs - red with gold, black with red, and white with red. Salle picks the first one and watches as she grabs a new card below the counter. Finishing the registration, she turns back to him and asks, “How much should I..?”

 

“One thousand,” Salle replies, momentarily letting go of Phil so he can pay for the card. The other looks over to see their progress and hums.

 

“Do you want me to - ”

 

“Nah, it’s fine. My treat,” Salle says as he grabs his change. “Plus, may promo naman.”

 

“Promo?”

 

Both of them turn to the cashier, who flusters in her attempt to hand the card over. “Well, yeah,” Salle shares a look with Phil before grabbing his hand again and pulling him closer, “He’s my boyfriend.” He watches, amused as Phil’s smile practically makes her combust, apologies spilling as she slides the card back into the payment terminal.

 

“Sorry, let me just - ”

 

“Ate, kalma po, maliit na bagay lang,” Phil reassures, smile turned down to something softer, which - only works halfway if the darkening blush on the girl’s face is any indication. Salle is half tempted to add to it, but he really does want to enjoy the arcade, so he holds back for now. She checks to confirm the doubled credit, before sliding it over with a piece of paper and final apology.

 

“Again, I’m so, so sorry, and uh,” she clears her throat, fumbling with a pen as she tries to explain. “Right. For the promo, we just ask that you post a picture together online with the caption on the flier - ” she motions to the paper she gave, “ - and set it on public. Our publicity team is gathering posts for the event wall, so… yeah.”

 

“Sounds good,” Salle grabs the card with his free hand and lets Phil inspect the flier.

 

“Kailangan na po ba mag-picture?” Phil asks, and the girl shakes her head.

 

“Kahit mamaya nalang po, just drop by to show it before you leave. And, um, If I may?”

 

Salle hums, turning his attention back to her. She spares a glance at their still-linked hands and gives them a small smile.

 

“Y-You two make a good couple.”

 

“Thanks,” Salle grins - and ah, there’s the blush again - before tugging them away and towards the nearest consoles. Behind him, Phil huffs out a quiet laugh, mumbling something about corny plots and Neo.

 

“Ano yun?”

 

“Wala, wala. Pero uy, try natin yung nasa dulo!”

 

* * *

 

Two hours, a rushed lunch, and a particularly interesting shooting game later – 

 

(“ _Holy_ _shit_.”

 

Salle stares at his companion, a little bit in love with how they absolutely _destroyed_ their current game while Phil just raises a brow at him and grins.

 

“What? You’re not the only one who knows how to aim, Salle.”)

 

The two find themselves on the second floor, in front a familiar set of booths, and Salle tries to ignore the side-eye Phil is giving him. Keyword being _tries,_ because as it is, he’s barely managing to contain his grin at the prospect of kicking Phil’s ass in a friendly game of basketball.

 

“Alam mo,” Phil muses as he swipes the card for two sets of games, “Kung 'di lang kita _boyfriend_ , iisipin kong ayaw mo na sa ‘kin.” Salle smirks and teases back.

 

“Eh kung I stay like this nalang, para I’ll never hate you?”

 

“ _Humanda ka_ ,” Phil deadpans as they prepare for the countdown.

 

He isn’t exactly bad at the sport, but compared to Salle, he really doesn’t stand much of a chance at winning. Salle plays a few rounds, managing a generous 256 points before Phil takes his turn on the booth. The Isko fares well enough until Salle starts with the random comments that end up breaking his concentration.

 

Phil laughs as he misses his fourth shot in a row, pausing to give a snickering Salle a light punch on the shoulder. “Tangina mo, Salle, manahimik ka muna kasi - “ he takes a breath and tries to calm himself before grabbing a ball and tossing. It hits the basket before dropping in, and the sight shocks them into silence. Salle recovers first with a bright grin.

 

“Wow, that one actually went in.”

 

Phil rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling as he passes the next ball at him. “Sige na, ikaw na panalo.”

 

They finish the game together, and Phil grabs the tickets while Salle takes the lead as they look at the rest of the games. They pass by the cranes on their way to the tournament section when Salle notices Phil eyeing the machines, particularly the one with vintage toys inside.

 

He knows it’s not the first time he’s looked at it, but Phil hasn’t said anything, so Salle decides to ask, “May gusto ka?”

 

Phil shoots him a confused look, so Salle tilts his head towards the plush-filled machines for clarification. “Ah,” he hums, before shaking his head “Wala.”

 

“Dude, kanina mo pa tinitingnan yung cranes.”

 

“Sayang lang pera.”

 

“Kahit once?”

 

“Uulitin ko,” Phil huffs, amused but firm. “Weakshit ako pagdating sa crane games.”

 

“Edi ako nalang maglalaro,” Salle says, grabbing Phil’s wrist as he walks them back to the crane area. Phil sighs but lets himself be dragged, blinking when Salle stops at the eighth and final box.

 

“Pano mo nalaman - ”

 

“Like I said,” Salle shrugs, lips twitching into small smile, “Kanina ka pa nakatitig.” Phil gives a sheepish laugh at that, hand going up to rub at the back of his neck.

 

“Sorry?”

 

Salle waves the apology off. “Which one did you want?”

 

“Uh,” Phil steps closer to squint at the toys, before pointing somewhere near the upper left corner. “Yung orange tabby. Kamukha niya kasi yung isang pusa sa may math building.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

Ten seconds later, Salle stares at an empty crane as it retreats from the prize chute while Phil covers his mouth in an attempt to smother his laugh. He shoots the other a pointed look, before turning back for a second try. “Isa pa.”

 

“Teka, Salle, tama na, mauubos lang yung...”

 

Phil trails off, not bothering to finish his sentence as Salle actually wins something from a goddamn crane game. Salle is smug for about three seconds before he notices that the toy he got isn’t in anyway orange, or even a cat. He watches as Phil pulls his hand out of the chute to reveal a furry, yellow… thing.

 

They stare at it for a while, before Phil gives it an experimental squeeze. Salle didn’t know what he was expecting, but it seemed fitting that it sounded like a dying whale.

 

Phil is the first to break.

 

“Holy _shit_ ,” Phil giggles as he holds the plush at arm’s length, “S-Salle, ano - ano ‘to?”

 

“Ba’t ako tinatanong mo?” Salle laughs and he peers closer at it. It’s… weird, but endearing in the bug-eyed, webbed feet sort of way. Still -

 

“Amin na, I’ll get you the cat.”

 

“What? No, akin na siya!”

 

“Phil, mukha siyang troll na walang katawan.”

 

“Grabe, ang sama mo naman kay Cindy.”

 

“Cindy?”

 

“Pangalan ng anak natin, Salle.”

 

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Salle drags a hand down his face, if only to hide his grin. Phil snorts at his reaction, hitting him lightly with the plush, which only prompts the dying whale noise from it _again_. It makes Phil dissolve into another round of laughter, and Salle rolls his eyes as he goes to swipe his card when a familiar voice speaks up.

 

“Kuya Phil?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plush phil wanted was this:  
> https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a9/2e/77/a92e77b27a09212763a4b5ae2ee362e1.jpg  
> and what salle actually got him is this:  
> https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/NFEAAOSwbcJXPdL~/s-l400.jpg<  
> ((it doesnt make sounds, as far as i know, but i tossed that in because i though itd be funny hA H))


	3. the best, salle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: the siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY.

Phil had planned to spend his weekend buried under papers until he got Salle’s text.

 

He hadn’t planned on accepting the invite either, but then the lasallian decided to bring up tapa, and while Neo is his best friend, good food is a luxury he tries not to pass up too often. Add that to a particularly stressful week and a brand of comfort centered on food and sleep… well. Let’s just say, Phil wasn’t very hard to persuade.

 

Still, it would have been a good bonding moment for Neo and Salle.

 

He files the thought away and decides to just enjoy for now; it’s been a while since he let himself relax. Salle had always been one of the people who managed to do it with little effort, and while most of their meetups ended with a drink shared between them, the current change of pace was nice. Great, actually, as Phil finds himself making easy banter with the other over a stuffed abomination.

 

“Kuya Phil?”

 

The familiar voice startles him, and Phil whirls around to find -

 

“Libby?!” he stares at her, more than a little surprised as she gives a small wave. Beside her, Manuel gives him a slight smirk.

 

“Hi, kuya.”

 

“Manuel!” Phil rushes over to catch them both in a tight hug, a laugh bubbling up from him. “Anong ginagawa niyo dito? ‘Di man lang kayo tumawag, wala tuloy akong handa - ”

 

“It was a surprise, kuya,” Libby sighs into the hug, before pulling away to give him a bright smile. “Pero surprise! Naisip namin na bumisita bago ulit maging hectic yung sem, kaya lang, napadaan kami dito dahil kay Manny.” She shoots the aforementioned person an accusing look, and Manuel puts his hand up in mock surrender.

 

“In my defense, I didn’t know kuya would be here with someone,” Manuel says, and Phil blinks, internally cursing himself for forgetting about Salle. “Hi, Salle.”

 

“Hi, Manuel,” Salle greets back, an amused smile playing at his lips as he nods at them, “Libby.”

 

Phil turns back to him and mouths a silent ‘I’m so sorry,’ but Salle just shrugs and motions to them with a tilt of his head. “You probably want to catch up with them, right? Meet up nalang tayo after, so I can buy you the tapa.” Phil is hesitant to agree, mostly because he was with Salle first, but thankfully, he isn’t the only one who picked up on that.

 

“Wait, no, you were with kuya first, Salle, you shouldn’t leave!” Libby protests, earning her a surprised look, before pausing. “What are you guys doing here anyway, it’s not your usual place?”

 

“Ah,” Phil beams at her, and promptly suffers a lapse in judgement, saying, “Gusto ni Salle arcade date daw.”

 

In hindsight, he should’ve known better than to phrase it that way, but the fact that he’s a college student is rearing its ugly head, and he can’t find it in himself to curse it until later that evening.

 

As it is, he doesn’t expect the way Libby practically lights up, way too ecstatic about - something. He follows her gaze to his hand that’s holding the plush. Confused, he turns to his twin, but Manuel only raises his brows and gives him a shit-eating grin. Salle is highly amused, which only doubles his confusion because _what_?

 

Phil doesn’t get to properly think about it because next thing he knows, he’s watching Libby drag Manuel away, saying, “Sige na, kuya, mauna na kami. Tawag nalang kami mamaya para sa kwentuhan, sorry!”

 

Phil starts and tries to call her back.

 

“Libby - “

 

\- but he’s too late. Manuel, for his part, just lets himself be pulled away, but not before throwing him a wave over his shoulder.

 

“Enjoy your date, kuya.”

 

In the end, Phil doesn’t manage to do anything but wave back, a little dejected.

 

‘May mamaya naman, Phil,’ he tells himself, blinking when he feels an arm sling over his shoulder. He turns to Salle - who’s still looking at the spot where his relatives stood - and says, “Wala akong na-gets.”

 

Salle hums; Phil recognizes the glint in his eyes and sure enough, gets a sidelong grin.

 

“Na-guilty ata sila for interrupting our date.”

 

Oh.

 

 _Oh_ , wow. Okay.

 

“Nakakailan ka na,” Phil elbows him with a small laugh. Salle grins wider and winks at him, before pulling them back to the crane machine.

 

“Aminin mo na, Phil, I’m a good boyfriend.”

 

Phil rolls his eyes. “The best, Salle.”

 

* * *

 

Persistent as ever, Salle gets Phil the cat, because of course he does. Phil can’t find it in himself to mind much, because one - it’s pretty cute, and two - he’s a little amazed at how Salle actually managed to win it in the first place. He’d never seen anyone this lucky with the god-forsaken game and briefly wonders if Salle is some kind of crane deity.

 

They leave the arcade after half an hour, but not before taking a quick photo by karaoke booths. Salle pulls him close and Phil lets him, grinning at the camera and leaving Salle to deal with the rest after he hears a soft ‘click.’ He tucks the plushies under his arm while they take a quick stop by the register, and then agrees to grab a quick snack before going home.

 

“I promised you tapa, so ayan na,” Salle slides into the seat across Phil, who smiles in thanks.

 

“Buti naman, kasi yung tapa talaga yung habol ko.”

 

“Masakit, Phil.”

 

Phil laughs, and the conversation stays like that, pleasantly superficial and full of teasing remarks.

 

By the time their food is gone, he finds himself feeling lighter and thoroughly de-stressed; it pulls a small smile from him. The afternoon had been really fun. Phil takes a breath and lets his eyes wander, content to bask in silence while Salle excuses himself to send a text to Cess.

 

“By the way,” he blinks and turns to Salle when the other suddenly asks, “Paano ka uuwi?”

 

He shrugs. “Commute.”

 

“Wag na, hatid nalang kita,” Salle offers, and Phil hesitates long enough to warrant an eyeroll. “Sige na, Phil, I was going to offer this morning, pero nakalimutan ko.”

 

“‘Di ba abala?” Phil frowns, trying not to seem ungrateful. Hitching a ride would be great for saving, but not if it meant more travel time for Salle. Dealing with traffic seemed counterproductive to the whole relaxing agenda, even if it was always there; he thinks about the usual day in Katipunan and squashes down the urge to wince.

 

Salle just stands and motions for him to follow, saying, “Nah, okay lang.”

 

* * *

 

“Sa Kalayaan ka, diba?”

 

“Mm,” Phil hums, and after a few turns, the black sedan slows to a stop in front of the Kalayaan dormitories. He unclips his seatbelt and opens the door, one foot already out as he gathers the two plush toys in his arms. “Sabi nang kahit sa sakayan lang ng jeep, eh,” he turns back to smile at Salle, “Pero salamat.”

 

“Alagaan mo si Cindy at Archer II,” the other quips, snickering when Phil jokingly flips him off. It’s been a lasting debate whether Salle gets to name the cat, but both of them know it’s just for show; Phil is fine with it either way, since Salle did win the thing. He steps out of the car with a small wave, and barely takes five steps when Salle calls:

 

“What, walang goodbye kiss?”

 

Grinning, Phil plays along and turns back, quickly donning an apologetic expression as he smacks a hand to his forehead. “Shet, nakalimutan ko, sorry,” he sighs, before smiling wide and blowing him an exaggerated kiss. Salle grins as he pretends to catch it, giving a final wave when Phil just chuckles and shoos him off with an insistent, “Huy, umuwi ka na nga.”

 

Theatrics over with, Phil quickly makes his way to his room. He waves to the guard and the people he knows as he passes them, humming a random tune as he grabs his keys to unlock his door. Once inside, he places the plush toys on his bed and toes his shoes off, heaving a sigh of relief as he finally crashes on the soft surface.

 

With a little effort, he manages to get his phone and dials a familiar number. It rings twice before someone answers.

 

_“Kayo na?!”_

 

“Hi din sa’yo, Libby,” Phil huffs, a little exasperated. “Hindi ko boyfriend si Salle.”

 

_“Weh, kuya. Ang sweet niyo kaya kanina.”_

 

“Wala pa ngang limang minuto, tinakasan niyo na ‘ko.”

 

 _“And yet you called it a date,”_ Manuel’s voice pipes up, and Phil barely manages to resist rolling his eyes. Barely.

 

“Para kayong bata,” he shakes his head with a quiet laugh, before sitting up for a proper conversation. “Pero ‘di yun yung tinawag ko! Kelan kayo dumating?”

 

_“Kahapon lang, kuya. Like Bee said, it was supposed to be a surprise.”_

 

Phil smiles fondly; his family was the best. “Kamusta naman kayo? Kumakain ba kayo ng maayos? Tulog kayo ‘pag may oras, alam kong importante ang acads, pero - ”

 

 _“Ma, teka lang, ‘di kami makasagot,”_ Libby teases with a giggle, and Phil partly picks up Manuel muttering something like ‘he really is a mom.’ _“We’re pretty okay, in general. It’s you we were worried about, kuya, which is why we decided to visit. For all your talk about taking care, you barely manage it yourself.”_

 

“Not the point, Bee,” Phil whines, a little embarrassed for being called out.

 

 _“Still a point,”_ his twin points out triumphantly, and Phil pouts.

 

“‘Di ko na kayo hahandaan ng hapunan.”

 

_“Kuya, magugutom kami.”_

 

“Sige na, sige na,” Phil sighs, feigning defeat, “Nasa bahay na kayo, ‘di ba?”

He stands and rummages through his desk, grabbing his laptop and a few other readings as Manuel answers. Stuffing them into his backpack, Phil pauses to hang up and casts a glance to the plushies still on his bed. He picks one up - Cindy, because he did get her first - and feels himself smile as he remembers how he spent this afternoon.

 

He puts her in his bag, along with Archer II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so remember when i said i knew where i was going?  
> turns out i actually don't haha (fuck). but safe to say, i do have a list of things i want to happen, so hopefully these two cooperate, as well as the net. what's a person gotta do to get decent wifi smh.  
> also @writer's block, please go away.


	4. oh shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's dating who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: salle makes a mistake but is still confused
> 
> and so the drama begins :))))))  
> just a note, but the time of the texts really aren't chronological because the texts happen all over the place, and i just decided to put them by person so you guys wouldn't be confused.  
> ALSO, MAHAL KO PO KAYONG LAHAT HUHUHU, THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT AAAAAAAAA!!!

**From: Chill Phil**

[6:14 PM] GAGO, DELETE MO YUNG PICTURE.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[6:17] why?

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[6:17] ANONG WHY, BILISAN MO.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[6:18] okay okay, wait lang

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[6:20] PUTANGINA, LAGOT TAYO KAY NEO.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[6:20] ba't naman?

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[6:21] salle.

[6:22] salle, 'di mo ba talaga gets.

 

**To: Chill Phil**

[6:22] uh

 

**From: Chill Phil**

[6:23] di ko alam kung maiiyak ako or magagalit.

 

* * *

 

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:21 PM] JKSHJKSHADGLDKLFJLKA

[6:21] KUYA????????????????

[6:21] KUYA SUMAGOT KA

 

**To: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:23] ano?

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:23] _\-- screenshot sent --_

[6:24] ?????????????

 

**To: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:24] uy insta ko yan ah

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:25] OBVIOUS BA

[6:25] pero kuya????? yung caption mo??????????

 

**To: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:27] oh bakit

[6:28] lumabas kami ni phil?

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:28] PERO KUYA????????? YUNG CAPTION MO?????????????????

 

**To: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:29] di ko gets?

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:29] KUYA

[6:31] KUYA, LAGOT KA

 

**To: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:32] ha?

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:32] LAGOT KA KAY KUYA NEO

 

**To: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:33] OH SHIT

 

**From: Sister Dearest <3**

[6:35] RIP SALVADOR CONCEPCION. YOU WILL BE MISSED.

 

* * *

 

 

**From: white, blue, and gay**

[4:27 PM] uy nice, may jowa na siya

 

**To: white, blue, and gay**

[4:29] sus, ako pa

 

**From: white, blue, and gay**

[5:59] SERYOSO?????

 

**To: white, blue, and gay**

[6:01] joke lang, huy

 

**From: white, blue, and gay**

[6:04] sad

 

**To: white, blue, and gay**

[6:06] ang sama mo

 

**From: white, blue, and gay**

[6:07] thanks

[6:32] pero i mean, okay na rin, kasi magagalit si neo

 

**To: white, blue, and gay**

[6:34] si neo nanaman jusko

 

* * *

 

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[5:24 PM] You're an idiot.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[5:25] ay wow, salamat

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[5:27] It's true.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[5:28] pakyu mappy

 

* * *

 

 

**From: to the bea-da my heart**

[6:13 PM] MAY JOWA KA NA?????

 

**To: to the bea-da my heart**

[6:25] kambal talaga kayo ni yssa

 

**From: to the bea-da my heart**

[6:25] TANGINA SAGUTIN MO KO

 

**To: to the bea-da my heart**

[6:26] luh, kalma lang benjo

[6:27] and nah, im a free man

 

**From: to the bea-da my heart**

[6:29] gago akala ko kung ano na

[6:37] lagot ka kay neo

 

**To: to the bea-da my heart**

[6:41] PUNYETA TAMA NA PLEASE

 

* * *

 

 

**From: NEO-PWET**

[4:43 PM] You're dating Phil?

 

**To: NEO-PWET**

[4:46] bakit, selos ka? ;)

[4:53] uy tama ako

[5:19] di ko type si phil, though

[6:38] gago, magreply ka

 

* * *

 

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[6:44 PM] di ako kinakausap ni neo

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[6:48] I wonder why.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[6:49] wala naman akong ginawa!

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[6:51] Exactly.

 

**To: 91% COFFEE**

[6:51] what

[6:55] huy mappy, ano yun

[6:58] MAPPY DI KITA GETS, BUMALIK KA DITO

 

**From: 91% COFFEE**

[7:02] Figure it out, Salle.

 

* * *

 

 

**From: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:36PM] ANO CHISMIS

 

**To: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:37] gwapo ako

 

**From: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:37] luh sino may sabi

[4:38] JOKE LANG HAHAHA

[4:38] pero ano ngaaaaa

 

**To: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:41] ang alin?

 

**From: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:41] ANO MERON SA INYO NI PHIL

 

**To: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:42] secret ;)

 

**From: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:44] gago, wag mo idamay si phil, mabait siya ok

 

**To: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:45] at ako hindi?

 

**From: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:47] salle

[4:47] tinulak mo ko sa gater nung nag inuman tayo nung thursday

 

**To: tara, swimming sa españa**

[4:49] SORRY NA KASI

 

**From: tara, swimming sa españa**

[7:19] sorry mo mukha mo, wala nang ligtas yung pantalon ko

[7:21] pero huy, wag si phil

[7:21] alam mo naman close sila ni neo

 

**To: tara, swimming sa españa**

[7:27] tangina fine, gets ko na po

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> naluto si salle, im sorry gdjkfsad
> 
> next up: phil's set of texts


	5. please talk to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies are better in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: phil did not sign up for any of this
> 
> here's part two of the drama!!!  
> ((also ang bagal ko mag-update huhu, im so sorry frens,,,,,,,,,))

**From: Bosslady**

[5:56 PM] PHILLIP.

 

**To: Bosslady**

[5:56] YES BOSS.

 

**From: Bosslady**

[5:57] ANONG KAGAGUHAN ‘TO?

[5:59] _\-- screenshot sent --_

 

**To: Bosslady**

[5:59] teka, loading image po.

[6:00] AY PUTA

 

**From: Bosslady**

[6:00] ANONG ‘AY PUTA,’ SAGUTIN MO KO.

[6:00] UNA SI NEO, NGAYON IKAW NAMAN.

 

**To: Bosslady**

[6:01] i can explain.

 

**From: Bosslady**

[6:01] SO EXPLAIN.

 

**To: Bosslady**

[6:02] okay, uh.

[6:03] kailangan ni salle ng kasama para dun sa promo ng club xega.

[6:03] dapat si neo talaga kasama niya, pero nagyaya siya bigla, kaya sumama ako.

[6:03] PERO SWEAR, ‘DI KO ALAM NA COUPLE PROMO SIYA.

[6:04] nadatnan ko nalang siya bigla, eh nandun na ‘ko, kaya… yun.

[6:06] mia?

 

**From: Bosslady**

[6:06] Okay, naniniwala ako sa ‘yo.

[6:07] Pero question.

 

**To: Bosslady**

[6:07] yes boss?

 

**From: Bosslady**

[6:07] Binigyan ka ba ni Salle ng tapa.

 

**To: Bosslady**

[6:08] gusto kong tumanggi, pero yes.

 

**From: Bosslady**

[6:08]Tangina, sabi ko na nga ba.

 

**To: Bosslady**

[6:09] sorry na po huhu.

 

**From: Bosslady**

[6:10] Kay Neo ka mag-sorry, jusko.

 

* * *

 

**To: Ritz Kid**

[6:14 PM] hi neo.

[6:14] nakita mo na siguro yung post ni salle.

[6:15] gusto ko lang sana mag-sorry sa katangahan ko.

[6:16] ‘di nasabi sa ‘kin ni salle yung specifics nung promo, pero dapat nagtanong din ako.

[7:43]at dapat di na rin ako pumayag.

[7:48] i’m so sorry neo, ‘di ko talaga sinasadya.

 

* * *

 

**From: spanish mermaid**

[7:22 PM] TRAYDOR KA PHIL

 

**To: spanish mermaid**

[7:24] TEKA, BAKIT?

 

**From: spanish mermaid**

[7:25] _\-- image sent --_

[7:25] DI MAN LANG AKO BINALITAAN???????????

 

**To: spanish mermaid**

[7:26] PUTANGINA.

[7:27] lahat ba nakakita na niyan.

 

**From: spanish mermaid**

[7:29] lmao probably

[7:29] musta naman?

 

**To: spanish mermaid**

[7:30] galit sa ‘kin si neo huhu.

 

**From: spanish mermaid**

[7:30] ouch.

[7:31] awayin ko na ba si salle?

 

**To: spanish mermaid**

[7:34] wag na, nakausap ko na.

[7:35] alam mo naman na ‘di kami, diba?

 

**From: spanish mermaid**

[7:37] para mo nang tinanong kung bulag ako

 

**To: spanish mermaid**

[7:37] :(

 

**From: spanish mermaid**

[7:38] joke lang, huy.

[7:39] Pero lahat naman ata may alam na si neo lang hinahabol ni salle.

 

**To: spanish mermaid**

[7:39] true.

 

* * *

 

**From: Kween Cess**

[6:37 PM] KUYA PHIL

[6:37] WAG KA PAPATALO KAY KUYA!!!!!!

 

**To: Kween Cess**

[6:38] cess what.

 

**From: Kween Cess**

[6:39] GOOD LUCK DKJSFAFSFDHK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**To: Kween Cess**

[6: 41] CESS WHAT.

 

* * *

 

**From: matulog ka na**

[7:09 PM] I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.

 

**To: matulog ka na**

[7:11] hi don.

[7:11] ang hirap pala maging boyfriend ni salle.

 

**From: matulog ka na**

[7:12] I know.

[7:13] Feel free to ignore him.

[7:13] How’s Neo?

 

**To: matulog ka na**

[7:14] ‘di niya ko kinakausap.

[7:15] kasalanan ko ‘to, don, dapat tinanggihan ko si salle.

 

**From: matulog ka na**

[7:17] Did he tell you about the promo?

 

**To: matulog ka na**

[7:17] yes?

 

**From: matulog ka na**

[7:18] But did you know what kind of promo it was?

 

**To: matulog ka na**

[7:19] not really.

 

**From: matulog ka na**

[7:19] Then it’s mostly on Salle.

[7:20] I know you pair them up when you can, so all of this was an honest mistake.

[7:20] Neo is going to realize that eventually.

 

**To: matulog ka na**

[7:21] salamat, don.

 

**From: matulog ka na**

[7:24] Anytime.

 

* * *

 

**To: Ritz Kid**

[8:52 PM] please talk to me?

[8:54] neo, i really am sorry.

 

* * *

 

**To: UR BEST DRINKING BUDDY**

[8:16] we fucked up.

 

**From: UR BEST DRINKING BUDDY**

[8:17] pretty sure it was just me, phil

 

**To: UR BEST DRINKING BUDDY**

[8:19] ‘di ako kinakausap ni neo.

 

**From: UR BEST DRINKING BUDDY**

[8:19] ay gago

[8:20] okay, uh…

[8:23] he’s probably not as mad at you as he is at me

[8:23] shit, thats not comforting at all

[8:24] sorry for dragging you into this

[8:26] i didnt mean to… you know, do _that_.

 

**To: UR BEST DRINKING BUDDY**

[8:32] i’m his best friend salle, i should’ve known better.

 

* * *

 

**To: Ritz Kid**

[11:10 PM] alam mo.

[11:10] ‘di ko ‘to ginagawa ng maayos.

[11:11] dapat sa personalan yung pag-sorry ko.

[11:14] see you monday, neo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: salle posted the pic in his insta with the hashtags #MyXega-nificantOther and #ADayWithYourPlayerTwo.  
> also, phil doesnt have insta, or if he does, its very inactive omg, thats why hes late w the news and all.


End file.
